A downloadable game for Windows

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Trigger Warning: Could be triggering to those with gender dysphoria.

NSFW: ADULT CONTENT

For trans-people, it's not news that transition can be difficult. As time goes by, it gets easier, but early in transition, the dysphoria of everyday life could get overwhelming. This was an expression of a moment in time back in 2014, in which I felt it might be better to digitize my desires rather than actually execute them.

This version is a rerelase of the original, which was originally published on Gamejolt. It stayed online for two weeks or so before I felt too dysphoric to leave it up. This version has had several small changes and bug fixes, as well as a muted palette, which was necessary for me to rerelase without it causing too much dysphoria to leave it up.

Music is not mine. Game lasts no more than a few minutes.

Mac/Linux versions available upon request.

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Click download now to get access to the following files:

Dysphoric.rar 18 MB

Comments

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I too did not read the description before the first play (i seldom do that).

I'm not sure but potential SPOILER Alert.


It really is interesting, but I think it would become better if one could decide against the scissors (another way than closing the game, but i don't think that term is correct after all there is not really much game stuff in it, it's more some kind of point'n'click narration). At this moment it's as if one had made a narration about suicide, where one can only commit it, not decide not to. I'm not saying transition equals suicide, it does not, i think of it more like the metamorphosis of a caterpillar, but i can't really think of a better equation in this particular situation.

I think because of the bloodloss and shock and relieve a better ending could be fading out to black after the thoughts "that's better", instead of just looking up after dressing again, without any bandaging or otherwise medical treatment of the wounds. At that moment i'm not really able to understand the motivation of the depicted person (i am after experiencing the whole narration), mostly because i can't really read the seeminglish nightmarish thoughts when holding the scissors. Perhaps these should come right after undressing the part one will use the scissors on later, better readable, that way people without the same thoughts could relate better. Or even better, as i think the person will have these thoughts not only when directly confronted with the problem, make the thoughts nearly invisible to begin, becoming better visible as one gets closer to the problematic bodypart. And after looking up from it, i think some kind of tunnel vision effect on the scissors could make the urge to use them on it better visible.

Please don't understand my critic as if the narration was bad, i just think you could do it better with only quite minor tweaks (i think of them as minor, but i have no idea of how much work that'll be). Good to read we need not be concerned for your life, please don't just delete it, i think it is educational. Thank you for reading.

Thanks for the feedback Harlekin, I do think the tweaks you mentioned would improve the narration of this little experience, but I don't really have any motivation to delve back into the place I was in when I made this, as it was a quick outlet that helped me get past a particularly hard moment. Not sure I even have the files heh. Since making it I have thought of lots of little ways to improve if I were to ever remake old ideas I had (same with another project I made called Needle which I think could benefit from a slick redo, that one deals with suicide as well but gives the player a way to avoid it). I'll keep it up if you feel it's educational (or at least partially insightful). 

lol I ignored the trigger warning/description because I like these kinds of unique perspective games and just wanted to go in blind but yikes. Really powerful, hope you're doing better now

Oh! I hope it wasn't too bad. I do constantly battle with myself over whether to delete this or not but the experiences seem to be - in the very least - memorable, for people. I'm in a much better place tho, thanks for your concern <3